A “ray” of hope
“What do you want to do while you’re here in San Diego?”
“I want to dance.”
“Great. I’m the guy that usually takes people out.”
Two weeks into a trip to California, I arrived in San Diego. I had recently quit my job and I was desperately seeking rest. I decided to book a stay at a hostel by the beach so I could meet new people — and, well, live by the beach for a couple of days. I immediately met Ray, a worker at the hostel.
He had a glimmer in his eye and big dreams in his heart. “I want to own a hostel one day so I’m working from the ground up,” he told me. After a successful career, he decided to take some time off to assess the next phase in his life — and his dream was born out of that.
As the week went on, I got to know Ray here and there. What amazed me most was his kindness toward everyone. One day, a group from the hostel went for a walk and he bought one of the girls a pair of sunglasses. She had recently moved from Brazil and didn’t have sunglasses. One night, we had a bonfire with s’mores on the beach and Ray went around and chatted with every single person to make sure they were doing okay. On my last night in San Diego, I went out with some of the other guests and when we came home, I asked Ray where the best spot in town was for late-night pizza. He said, “I ordered a pizza actually and I’m happy to share it with you. I figured you guys would be hungry when you got back.” He then heated up the pizza on the stove for each of us.
On my last day in San Diego, Ray and I took a walk to a cove area on the beach and Ray said something that changed my perspective. Recently, I felt God leading me to quit my job. I had no idea what was next but I spent some time in California seeking wisdom. Ray had gone through a similar season and said, “I used to feel shame because people would ask me what I did and I’d say, ‘Nothing.’ But after some time, I realized that I was given the privilege to decide what I really wanted out of life — not only with a job but also in my relationships — and that takes time. During that time, I began to dream and that’s when this owning a hostel idea was born.”
I felt my heart filling with hope.
When we arrived to the cove, we met a few strangers who were also there. One man was playing bongos and another young woman had recently gotten a divorce. We shared our stories and soaked in the ocean air together. As I took a breath, I realized it was the first time on my three-week trip that I had finally relaxed. I was present — in-the-moment — enjoying the people around me — and I could breathe. I had gone to California seeking peace and rest and I had finally entered it.
Maybe you’re in the same season. Maybe you’re wondering what’s next. Maybe you’re feeling some shame because you don’t have it all together. What if, instead, you flipped the script like Ray did? What if God has gifted you this time to invest in your relationships? What if he has gifted you this time to explore and experiment and rest? What if he is putting the puzzle pieces together and even if you can’t see it now, you can trust that he’s got you and he’ll show you the picture when it is time?
Time with Ray changed my entire perspective on this season I’m in. It’s so funny because I came to California looking for answers and instead, God gave me a friend. A friend who reminded me how to be a friend. A friend who showed me the exhilaration of random acts of kindness. A friend who listened and met me where I was at. A friend who filled me with hope. A friend who helped me relax and enter into rest.
As we sat at the cove together that last day, I took a deep breath and told God, “Thank you.” Surrounded by new friends, soaking in the ocean air together, I had finally let myself simply be.
And all of a sudden, a band of dolphins swam across our gaze.
I excitedly pointed and said, “Ray! Look!” and he smiled, sat back and said, “Isn’t this what it’s all about?”
Fully present, I could finally see. Yes, yes, this is exactly where we’re supposed to be.
Joyfully,
Lauren
