An iPhone app and a twirl dance

This afternoon, I went for a walk to see if I could find the bright orange fish again. After discovering a whole school of them, I journeyed back home. On the way, a singer and guitarist were jamming on the sidewalk. I listened for a little and noticed a family nearby — a mom, dad, and two little girls. One of the little girls heard the music and began dancing. I smiled as I walked past. A few hundred feet later, I turned back around to glance at the little girl. She continued to dance and pulled her dad’s hand, motioning for him to dance with her. Obviously embarrassed, the dad stood there and finally twirled his little girl.

Yesterday, my brother and I celebrated our dad’s 62nd birthday at a yummy Japanese restaurant we like. My dad was diagnosed with another brain tumor a few weeks ago and when I saw him yesterday, I noticed swelling in the right side of his face. After a nice time together, my brother and I wished my dad a happy birthday and got in the car to leave. On the drive home, I couldn’t help but cry. Memories of brain tumors and surgeries flashed before my mind. This time, though, was different. I was convinced my dad was going to die.

Barely hanging on emotionally, I dropped my brother off at his home and headed north to meet my mom. She planned to drop off a suitcase for me for an upcoming trip. We met on a street in a nearby town. As soon as we parked, I ran into her arms and sobbed. Deep heaving body-shaking sobs. Mom, Dad is going to die while I’m away. Utterly convinced, I could barely get the words out in between my cries. For the first time I could ever remember, my mom was speechless. She asked, “How can I help? What can I do to help?” After a short walk together, we sat in her car and I blew my nose. I cannot remember what my mom said then, but all of a sudden her phone lit up. Somehow, the Bible app opened and Psalm 46 appeared. “Mom, I think God is trying to talk to us,” I said.

“God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.”
-Psalm 46:1–5

The Psalm continued on and another part caught my eye. Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10). This verse has been one of the biggest verses during this season of my life. As I have been learning to rest, “be still and know” has been a special phrase for me. This time, God was reminding me that He is in control of my dad’s life. He was reminding me to rest in Him and to know that my dad is in His care. That He will be my refuge and strength. That even when the mountains shake, there is no need to fear. That He will help me. God used an iPhone to bring up a Bible app to remind me that He’s here and He’s in control. Wow.

When I was a little girl, I loved to dance with my dad. Whether it was dancing near the stage of a summer festival or simply in our living room, I am so thankful that my dad wasn’t too embarrassed to dance with me. I don’t know what the coming weeks and months in my dad’s life are going to look like, but I pray that there will be dancing. Thank you Jesus for being my refuge and strength.

Joyfully,
Lauren