Something happened Friday night
I went to the gym on Saturday morning.
I know lots of people go to the gym, but it was a miracle that I went to the gym on Saturday. Two weeks ago, I hurt my lower back. Barely able to walk, I hobbled places, bent over in pain. At first, I had a good attitude about it. “I’ll get better. I just need to rest,” I thought. Each day, though, the pain seemed to get worse. A week and a half without relief (and lots of ice), my positive attitude finally wavered and exhaustion set in.
People were so kind to me. Lots of people encouraged and prayed for me throughout the week. My team at work was so supportive. On Friday afternoon, some friends stopped in the hallway to pray for me. As they did, though, the pain got worse. Like really worse. I didn’t understand. I felt defeated and I was exhausted. The girls left and tears immediately spilled from my eyes. I walked into a stall in the bathroom and sobbed. “God, why is it getting worse?” I cried. The pain was overwhelming and the lack of good sleep had officially caught up to me. I was a broken mess.
Enter: a phone call from mom. (Aren’t moms the best?) After some encouragement, I felt strong enough to go through the day. That evening, our church had a worship and prayer night. During the day, we had walked through the rows praying for all who would sit in those same seats just hours later. As the night began, we were filled with anticipation and expectation to see how God would move.
The worship was beautiful. The friends sitting next to me that night had gone through some challenging circumstances recently and I just felt this overwhelming love for them. It was such a joy to be next to them, hugging them, singing with them. God met them in powerful ways that night, but I’ll let them share their own stories with you. I have my own story to tell.
A few songs in, the pain in my back caused me to sit. A sweet friend offered medicine, but I declined. I sang in my seat and it was still beautiful. After a few more songs, our staff team hopped down to offer to pray with people. There was such a feeling of unity it was palpable. After that time, I felt drawn to go pray for the friend sitting next to me and the night wrapped up with a few more songs.
All of a sudden, I noticed that I could move. I could twist and stand. As people jumped to the worship song, I tried jumping. I could JUMP. “Guys, I think my back is healed,” I said to my friends. “What?!” they exclaimed. “My back is healed!”
On Saturday morning, I went to the gym.
As I sit here writing this, I am pain free. It makes me giggle because only God could do that. I don’t know how it happened exactly, but I know it was Him. I don’t know why the pain got worse before it got better, but I know that God is good and that I am grateful.
Our pastor said something that worship night that really stuck out to me. “God doesn’t cause pain. He doesn’t want us to be in pain.” Earlier that day, I had asked God — basically blamed Him — for my pain, but I was wrong. For whatever reason, the pain happened (my weak core muscles are likely to blame!), but it was never God’s intent that I be hurt. Everything God does is from a framework of love and restoration. He is bringing His original design, His good and beautiful Kingdom, to our earth and we get to be a part of it. It’s the craziest, greatest, most incredible adventure there is.
I keep flashing back to the story in the Bible of the woman who bled for 12 years. She saw Jesus and didn’t have a chance to talk to him, but touched the edge of his robe and was healed (Matthew 9:20–22). Jesus calls her “daughter” and encourages her. Now, in comparison, I know I am a baby. My back pain lasted two weeks (not 12 years), but I know Jesus touched me on Friday night. As I’m learning what it’s truly like to be His daughter and be a part of His Kingdom, I am constantly amazed at how good His heart is and how grateful I am to be in His family.
I know that not everyone is healed today. I have lots of friends in chronic pain and suffering from illness. Today I want to remind you that you are God’s child. His heart is not for you to be in pain. I believe His heart aches because you are in pain. But there is good news. God is bringing His Kingdom through Jesus and it is touching earth. It is a good Kingdom that defeats evil and darkness and sickness and pain. As the world seems to be getting darker and darker, the light of God’s Kingdom is going to shine brighter and brighter. And one day, if not while on this earth (but keep praying for that!), we will be completely healed and whole in the presence of the One who loves us more than anyone else. And that is definitely worth thanksgiving.
Joyfully,
Lauren
